My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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