Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
