just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
