It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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