So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
