so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize