I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
