Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
