good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
