what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
