4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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