Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
