I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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