I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I want her autograph on my taint
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
