oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Randomize