Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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