Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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