you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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