Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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