You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
