How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
