O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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