How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
