Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
