he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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