I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize