She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
