honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
