so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
