so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
