I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Send help, water and tortillas.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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