So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
