i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
