she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
