Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
