i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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