i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
