Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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