I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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