I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
