just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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