How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
