lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
