fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
