cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
