Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
