So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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