I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He felt like a one man threesome
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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