it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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