i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
