If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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