What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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