you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
