kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
where are my pants?
in the oven.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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