since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
