At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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