I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
