During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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