Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
