I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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