Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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