In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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