So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
